I’ve been sitting at my desk, ready to study. All the books and notes from my previous session are out and I’m looking like I am ready to go. To an outsider, I’d be looking like a legit study nerd kicking some goals.
But alas. They do not know whats happening. What’s happening on the inside.
I have a lot of study to do. I need to finish this assignment. If i wasn’t studying I would be outside today. Its a nice day. My job, is okay but what about my dream job. What would I do if I could do anything. What is my cat doing? Gee I really love eggs and I didn’t have any for breakfast. I haven’t posted on my blog for a while I miss doing that.
The enemy. My study nemisis. My brain.
How challenging you can be to yourself. That it can be such a battle to try and focus, especially when you know you have to. The times when you need your brain to kick into gear and outperform itself…..instead it disappears down a thinking wormhole that just gets more tangled and lost the deeper in you go.
So here I am – ticking off something on my imaginary list of things to do that aren’t studying, writing a blog post. I feel strangley proud of myself that I’m accomplishing something, but I know thats just a detour from fear. Because I’m going to snap out of this and panic write my essay thats only a quarter complete and due in 4 days.
So dear brain. My friend and foe. My frenemy. We need to get along. We shouldn’t be sitting in the local park with that other guy procrasination slowly kicking the ball around without hitting any goals. We should be smashing those balls out of the park and working closer with proactive guy and finishing what we started!
…or, we could just go watch the olympics. I hear thats good, though I’m not really into sports 
✌️ Fin
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