why hello there winter

Winter in Australia.  It doesn’t really exude ideas of snow capped mountains and rugging up in all the winter warmer fashion – especially for here in Queensland.

But it is my favourite time of the year in Queensland.  Mainly because its the only time it feels like its not Summer.  I swear I’m living in the wrong state though – Summer is my least favourite weather!

But Winter 2017 means that 5 months of the year is already gone.  Summer and Autumn gone!  And its been a wonderfully happy filled, busy, roller coaster of a time – that feels like its literally happened in only 2 months, not 5!

It’s been a time where I’ve learnt to really listen to my inner self and stop if I feel things are getting too much or too busy.  Things don’t have to be hectic and exhausting all the time – life is too short to not enjoy it.  This came in the form of taking a break from full time study.
I’ve recognised more than ever the importance of a God first life.  Where putting Him first makes everything else flow and so much easier.  The constant reminder of you are not your own strength, you have His strength, is an instant comfort.
I’ve been reminded about the importance of quality time with my husband and how easy it is to get into routine without making set, non distracted time with each other.  Our time has been in the way of board game time  (the game Splendor is a really fun game for two) or in walks to local coffee shops.
Finally, I’ve realised a lot of hard work goes into cooking a whole lamb. Even though I wasn’t the one cooking it, just being a part of my husband doing it was exhausting enough!

So bring on Winter.  Where the days are short, the skies so much more blue and the cuddles and sleep ins that much better!

looking forward by looking back

We live in a world consumed by the need to change.

Every day something changes.  It’s inevitable.  Your clothes, your hairstyle, the weather or the newest model phone it seems. And as fun as change is, and I am by no means against it, I also feel sometimes it’s not necessary.  That its done just because we assume we have to, because ‘modern life’.

Take for example history.   I am no history expert that’s for sure and it’s not something I’ve yet got an innate desire to delve into, but we are living in a modern age where we have technology increasing at a rapid rate.   We assume we know everything because its new.  As if we have to change the world from what it was, just because we can now do it bigger and better.

But what does history show us?!  It shows hundreds of years of tradition.  It shows thousands of years of human civilisation.  It shows for example, a monarchy that reigned far before our time, that still reigns and remains a current link to our past that we for some reason are set on destroying here in Australia.  Can you tell I’m anti-republic;) ?

It’s frustrating to me that instead of the constant desire to change history, we don’t instead look back and more strongly use what has been learnt.  What worked, how these huge civilisations made long standing buildings that last the ages or why the traditions that were set years ago are actually still embedded (often unknowingly) into our society.

The online world doesn’t help.  Its where we are constantly looking for something new and the next funny meme or hilarious video – and that is fine, I love a funny cat video don’t get me wrong.  But on a large scale, on a global scale, what will be our legacy.  What will be the one thing in this techno-age that will last?  In a world that is now set on the newest trends and fast dwindling fads and 15 minutes of fame, what lasts?  What is unique?

It’s a reflective time of year let me say.   I have been thinking about what will happen next year and the change that is going to happen in our little slice of the world.  It has got me excited don’t get me wrong, but that’s my immediate space and my change. On a global scale, on a ‘leave a legacy’ scale – how will what we are doing now really matter if we keep changing to look forward without learning from looking backwards? 

So here we go – sitting at the cusp of change.  Where another year ends and a new year begins.  It’s a fun time to reflect.  But it’s got me reflecting differently, more broad than I usually do and I’m okay with that.  In this coming year, I am going to use this to look back on my own history, on my countries history and further, to see how I can change from what’s been taught already.

Where I can learn and move forward, by looking back. 

that girl that cries in the car

It’s a strange thing fear.  It can make you scared, frozen and uncertain about the future.

I’ve been feeling a lot of that this week.   A fear of the “what ifs”.

What if i don’t get a positive health report when I go to the doctor next.  What if there is no way for us to naturally have children?  What if i am living a life that is half hearted when it could be so much more?

Its these things that have been confronting me as I hear more and more and know more and more people who have been diagnosed with cancer.  And its breaking my heart to think about what these people are going through, both physically and mentally.   It must be incredibly overwhelming.

The fear then starts to make you look at yourself and begin to question what is happening with your own life. What if that was you? What would you do?  How would you feel? What would you change in your life because of this?  It begins to question what you have right now and whether it is enough.

But why do you have to wait for something bad to happen!!! Why couldn’t you just change your situation now? What is stopping me at looking at what I would change in my life now? Because life could change in a second tomorrow?

So driving home, a million thoughts going through my head about what I would do.  What would I change?  What have I been putting off?  Should we look further into adoption.   Should we look at fostering.  Do we sell our house and move out bush to a more relaxed,  homegrown lifestyle away from the hustle and bustle of the city?

With all these thoughts racing through my head, one soft still voice cut through it, interrupting the mess, “Seek first the kingdom of God”.

And little tears started flowing.   All these thoughts going through my head of how I can change my own situation, so easily shifting my focus away from what I know I should be concentrating on – the big guy upstairs!!

It’s so easy to get distracted by the what ifs.  But my gentle reminder was pretty clear –  stop, life will go on – but ALWAYS seek first His kingdom. His word.  The rest will fall into place to exactly how it should be because your focus is on His will!

It’s easy to get caught up in worry and fear and when there is terrible things happening to those you love.  It’s incredibly hard not to be swept up in those feelings!  But there is already an answer that will help you….its written for everyone to read!

I know at times I will still get scared, I know that there is always a fear of the unknown and I know I will probably over analyse it and write a raw, heavy post!    I’ve been that way ever since I was little and also into my teens. Scared of death and running into my mum and dads room in the middle of the night, anxious and in tears.  But I know now where to look and where to seek comfort, beyond the here and now – its just a matter of continually knowing that thats where the answers are, and to push all my worries into prayer and cling to Him.

Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.

Deuteronomy 13:4 NLT