Clear vision

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Back in February we had a message at Church which spoke about Vision. Being clear on what you do want, not focusing on what you don’t want.

Vision is a great thing. It helps to keep you focused on what it is you are going to do next.

However, it is something which is a good and bad thing for someone struggling with infertility because you are completely clear on what you want. You want a child. You want a baby. My goodness, how many of you struggling with the same thing can just completely visualise you with a baby. Its incredibly lovely to think about.

But its also a struggle at times to think about. To visualise your life without one. It can be consuming and overwhelming.

The one thing this message taught me though, 2 months later and re-reading it now, is that its easy to be focused on our own visions. Our own wants. Our visions of what we want to happen can dictate our actions and indeed the direction you take next.

What we should be doing is focusing on God’s vision. On God’s word. We shouldn’t be relying on our own strength about what step to take next but to commit to Christs vision!

If we try to hang onto our perfect ideal of what our life should look like, you will lose it. You will lose focus, and possibly hope.

Instead, hang onto the vision of Christ. Push into Him with your prayers, your desires and your vision.

​For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Matthew 16:25 NIV

In this constant desire to have a family, I know I could NEVER be going through this journey in my own strength, without God.   Of course I have my perfect vision of what I want my life to be. The discussions hubby and I have had of how many children we will have and what their names will be have been endless. But I love constantly realising that its through Christ all these things are possible!

It’s in HIS vision, not my own!

stepping away from nervous nelly

It’s funny as you get older you learn a lot more about yourself and your own patterns.

Something I’ve learned about myself is that I struggle with change.  I get grand ideas, look at all the different ways in which I can make it happen and then often never follow through.

Sometimes, even the littlest things often seem hard – especially when your nerves kick in, it just makes things way bigger than they really have to be!

This year though, I have wanted to rest on God’s word, on His ways and often that has mean just honing in on that voice that often tells you to move forward and say yes!

This month, I am pleased to say I’ve been tuning in and saying YES! Not to everything, baby steps, but little things that I know I just have to do!

My goodness I can be such a nervous nelly but I’ve said yes, to two things I’ve been nervous in doing and I’m feeling so much better for it.

They are big changes to my routine which is why I struggle with change so much because i LOVE routine.  But learning that its okay to create new routines, seems to make it a little easier.

So my weeks have changed.  I took the plunge and went to a class of Zumba all by myself!! No waiting for someone to come with me or being too afraid of “what it might be like by myself”….I just DID it!  And my goodness I loved it and am now coming up to my third week of it doing it twice a week!

And talk about being led by the Holy Spirit.  I sat in the car about to go into the class and prayed that my nerves go away and I am filled with confidence!

So little ol me walks into the class, sees instantly someone alone and with the same exact shoes as me and walks straight up, introduces myself and begins chatting.  And it felt amazing!  Bring on getting fit and healthy!!!  I love dancing so of course I love Zumba and its all towards trying to get as healthy as possible to get closer to our conceiving journey!

Second item starts tomorrow.  I’ve said YES to helping out in the Kids area at church, babysitting during the service.   Super nervous, a million questions and incredibly unsure because I know NOTHING on what will happen – but I’m doing it.  Nerves be gone – I’ve said yes, and a time where pride is welcome because I can never pull out of something I’ve said yes to!

It may seem like small steps to some but steps are steps.   The best part of change and saying yes – is that it opens you up to things you have never done and to further experiences that then create MORE experiences!!! So bring it on!

choosing happiness reclaiming hope

How easy it would be to quietly get sad about not being pregnant yet, especially when it seems it is pregnancy season around me at the moment!

People announce pregnancy and it makes you look to yourself when you are trying for a baby – pretty much instantly some times which is a blah selfish way of thinking.

But I don’t want to have to be fighting to have a child as well as fighting to get myself out of some deep sadness wondering why not me.

So I choose happiness.

And it actually comes pretty easily. You just have to do one thing.

Take the focus of yourself!

Believe in Gods plans for your life and Trust that what he has for you is more brilliant and wonderful than anything you could ever over think.

So this month and for ever how many more it takes, I’m choosing to smile. Choosing to laugh. Choosing to love others. Choosing to find joy in other people’s happiness and the pure miracle in the creation of life – for whoever it may be for!

I am still waiting for my miracle, because that’s what you do when you wait for something you know you will get! Wait…and keep blogging about it 😉

You wait in trust and in hope. Because I believe that you Lord are the bearer of life and of miracles and that all things are possible through you!

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