expectation vs reality

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It’s a funny thing expectation.I had this expectation of what it would be like when I came back from my mission trip and how it would impact my blogging life.  I thought it would mean I would have so much to want to blog about having experienced 2 weeks of Cambodia and SHE Rescue Home but its strangely done the opposite.

Post Cambodia I’ve had a blogging block!!!!

I haven’t felt motivated to write anything and as much as I had an absolutely amazing time in Cambodia on the mission trip I haven’t felt compelled to write about it.

Given I’ve spent the last 3 weeks getting back into work, sharing stories with family and friends and actually processing what has happened but the main thing I’ve been doing is figuring out where I go from here.   I feel different being back.   I feel happier and more content with who I am but the change is actually a new found sense of direction and accepting that what ever direction I do take, it is the right one – because I am a daughter of Christ.

The direction for me now is definitely keeping up momentum and doing all I can at home, to help the SHE home.  That now, after some awesome revelations of my talents and how I can use them, is organising a SHE Rescue Home Fundraiser event.  And having just booked a venue and date to have a fundraiser luncheon – the momentum is definitely in full swing!!!

The thing I usually feel about expectation is disappointment.  And its often disappointment towards others because I expect them to act a certain way when I’ve organised something or expect them to react in my own self conceived way.  The issue with this is that you are more than likely going to be disappointed in the result because you have ‘imagined’ it a certain way and reality is no way near close to how we often think something will turn out – especially when there are other people involved!!!

But the thing I’ve figured out, for myself, is that expectation isn’t mine.   Expectation isn’t in my hands.  I only have minimal control over what happens.  I mean I can expect something to turn out a certain way and organise the heck out of it to get it that way – but the way it pans out, the way it ends up happening – it’s definitely not in my hands!!! We all know whose hands it is in 😀

That is the turn in direction I’ve had since I’ve come back.  I guess I knew this – but knowing and acting are two different things.   Now I feel confident not only in myself but confident with the faith that I have within myself.  It’s not about how I expected my life to be with Christ or as a Christian but how it IS being a Christian with Christ in my life and how I have been shaped and changed BECAUSE of that.

The mission trip definitely helped me to overcome some hurdles I had prior and I am so much more happier because of it!!!   I felt at the beginning of the year that it was going to be a great year – NOW – I am just so excited about what direction this year is going to take.  Feels like its just beginning all over again!!!!

Glad to be back on here too – I have been seeing what everyone is up to still, though not so much involved since I’ve been back than I’d hoped.  It’s definitely a part that I haven’t stopped thinking about – such lovely women.  But hoping the blogging block is gone – I think its the ol thang of just getting in and doing it rather than saying you’ll do it and doing something else instead.   Hope you are all well and happy smiling ladies!!!! 

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